Merry Christmas

Posted in Arieanna & Ianiv, Funny

christmas back home - xkcd
xkcd.com

Because he can

Posted in Cats, Funny

funny pictures
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Holiday Eating Tips

Posted in Food, Funny

10 diet tips to get through the holiday season:

  1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
  2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
  3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat. 
  4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
  5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
  6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
  7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
  8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
  9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
  10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Happy Holidays – and happy eating!

Thanks to Lynn for passing this on! Received via email.

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Tinsel Tape

Posted in Funny, Shopping

This tinsel tape is advertised for use on parcels – a little extra splash of festivity during the Holidays. But I say, why stop there? Use it on your gifts too in place of ribbon!

Via product dose Tags: , , , , ,

Cat Wake Up Call

Posted in Cats, Funny

Over at Laughing Squid I saw this really funny animation of a cat trying to wake up its human. Our cats follow pretty much the same pattern, but thankfully they manage to wake us up before trying what this cat does!

RIP Kettle

Posted in Funny

The NowPublic office kettle has died. An autopsy revealed that the likely cause of death was being left plugged in for a very long time. Kettle will be missed by the water cooler and a few coffee mugs.

Arieanna Simpson

Posted in Funny, Games, Movies

I’ve been Simpsonized. Fun little program to turn yourself into a Simpsons character. They start with a recommended profile based on a picture, then you can customize it.

Saw the Simpsons movie this weekend. Wasn’t overly impressed. There were some funny parts, but in general I didn’t find it very funny. I suppose after many years, it’s hard to come up with new plot lines and jokes.

hat tip to Derek Tags: , ,



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